From Mommy Barometer to Inner Compass: A Journey of Self-Discovery in Parenting

Are you a parent of tweens or teens who constantly feel like they're falling short? Are you frustrated when no matter how hard you try, things never seem to go according to plan and your teenager is never happy with you? Take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. Parenting is a rewarding yet challenging journey, and it's normal to have moments when you aren’t sure if things will be okay.

As parents, we all want the best for our children. We strive to raise them with love and guidance, doing our best to provide for them. Ultimately, we share the same goal—to see our children grow into happy and successful adults. But on my own parenting journey, I struggled to recognize my accomplishments. It took time for me to realize that I wasn't inherently flawed.

When I was a young adult, I had a clear vision of the parent I wanted to be. I pictured myself creating a nurturing, supportive, and positive environment for my children. This vision was fueled by my experiences as a teacher, where I excelled in managing my classroom. I believed that if I could create a positive environment for my students, I could do the same for my children. However, I soon realized that achieving that vision required way more tools and education than I had at that time.

The one tool I did have at my disposal that I constantly used was my own "mommy barometer," a scale I'd use to rate myself internally. It was my own internal gauge that measured my success as a parent. Unfortunately, each and everyday it told me the same thing—FAILURE. Each night before going to bed upon reviewing my day, I would promise myself that things would be different tomorrow. Tomorrow I would stop yelling, get organized, clean the house perfectly, spend quality time with each kid, be the wife my husband needed and start cooking healthy meals etc. The list was endless. But every night, my internal gauge reminded me that I had failed once again. It left me feeling hopeless and exhausted, especially when I compared myself to the seemingly perfect lives on my neighbor's social media accounts. I felt shame and isolation, and afraid to ask for help. I kept telling myself to be and do more, but truthfully, I had nothing left to give most days.

Our home was out of balance and yes, I needed to find new ways to respond to situations. However, the truth was that I needed to throw out that gauge and get a new measuring device!! I wasn't the worst mother in the world, even though it felt that way at times. The thing that kept getting in my way was the constant stream of negative thoughts that judged, criticized, and punished me for every parenting mistake I made. I thought I was doing the right thing by constantly assessing myself each night when in reality, this was the core of the problem even though I didn’t know it at the time.

As parents, we often set high expectations for ourselves and judge our worth based on how well we think we're doing. However, it's important to step back and question where that “gauge” comes from? For me it was born in my childhood, it was the same worn out methods, rules and expectations that had been passed down from one generation to the next. The same tools that helped me survive childhood had now become a liability in adulthood.

Unfortunately, for me it took many repetitive nights of the same thinking, the same self destructive thoughts that I wasn’t measuring up as a parent to realize that it was time to ask for help. It was time to do something different. And so I did….I signed up for my very first parenting class. That class was life changing. It wasn’t so much the content of the class that completely changed me, but rather the seed that was planted in me to learn something new that set the chains of motion in place for growth!

We live in a world that constantly demands our time and energy, and deprioritizes self-care. Unfortunately, many of us fall into the trap of perfectionism, believing that we must excel in every aspect of our lives. This harmful mindset leads to burnout, anxiety, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. And this was exactly the case for me. That parenting class set the stage for learning to let go of perfectionism and prioritize my well-being and self-care. Self-care doesn't have to be extravagant or time-consuming; it can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to focus on our mental health or finding moments of joy in our daily routines. By caring for ourselves, we become happier, healthier, and more resilient in the face of challenges.

And this is exactly what I did. Instead of acting like an authoritarian “parent” at the end of each night looking for things I did wrong, I began to put into practice the new mindset I was learning in that class. I would become aware of the self-bullying I was doing with my thoughts and then decide to drop the baseball bat and replace it with compassion, the same compassion that my kids yearned for. This was not always easy. It took many years and learning even more new tools. Slowly over time I eventually began to embrace and understand the importance of balance. Then one day I had created a new tool for measuring my day- - a Compass! The Compass was built from a place of self-love and compassion. It became more of a trusted companion rather than a feared bully.

My parenting has been quite the journey. I faced many challenges along the way. And this was exactly when the Compass became so valuable. It became my resource to turn to that guided me when I didn’t know which way to go. It helped me to realize that I was never alone and that I could begin to trust that gut feeling that I used to ignore.

My own journey taught me that perfect families don't exist, but we can find a perfect balance. Parenting isn't about winning or losing; it's an ongoing journey to be embraced, even during the toughest times. I learned not to put too much pressure on myself by comparing our family to yours and to celebrate every small triumph along the way.

That's why I created the MEE Company with you and your family in mind.

At the MEE Company, we're here to provide support as you navigate the parenting path. We offer various resources, including mini-workshops for parents that provide guidance and foster community among parents. Don't hesitate to seek help when you need it because, yes, you are good enough.

Let us make your family life a little easier and more harmonious with our practical resources and workshop offerings. So, challenge yourself for personal growth and take pride in knowing that even during difficult moments, you'll never be alone.

Follow us on social media for more tips, tricks, and stories as we redefine success together. Sign up for one of our parent mini-workshops today for extra support on your parenting journey!